Monkeys In My Head by Mark Bryan

The world perishes not from bandits and fires, but from hatred, hostility, and all these petty squabbles. -Anton Chekhov

Imagine having a conversation with a friend or the other half over whether it is okay for a neighbor to pluck some fruits (without your permission) from a tree that you'd planted outside the gated perimeter of your house.

While you can see the hilarity over the neighbor who plucks fruits from your tree right under your nose, your partner initiates a verbal diarrhea over how some people are just nasty for stealing other people's fruits and how the world's lost her marbles.

And as you sit there listening to her all riled up, the angry fume of a person then proceeds to ask whether if you agree with her.

You smile and say that within the context of the fruits from the tree which you yourself planted for the fun of it (ages ago), you really don't think it is that big of an issue.

In fact, you welcome people getting a munch of the fruits as long as they don't make a mess or start climbing over the gate to get into your house for other stuff to munch.

The angry fume of a person shakes her head for extra dramatic effect and says that you don't know how to put your foot down.

To prove that she's wrong, you put your real and proverbial feet down and head to the kitchen to make some tea.

But this fume of a person isn't finished.

She follows you and decides that you ought to agree with her on the next course of action. While you pause for a sensible elaboration, she says she's going to put up a sign near the tree stating: FRUIT-PLUCKING WITHOUT CONSENT FROM TREE OWNER IS PROHIBITED!

At this point, you really do want to ignore the whole thing but you can't now, can you? Especially when your perfect image as the elusive yet peaceful and loving neighbor who shares fruits from her own planted tree with her neighbors and other species is about to be tainted by a blabbering fool.

So you begin to instill some sense into your partner by telling her that the whole idea is too freaking dumb. How is a sign like that going to stop people from plucking the fruits? You tell her that she should physically guard the tree herself if that's how ridiculously possessive she's going to get.

This inflamed her so that she throws a piece of medium-sized cookie at you nicking the outer side of your left arm.

Now, I'm going to ask you: What do you think have caused such a seemingly sudden onset of violence?

A- The neighbor who likes to pluck the fruits from your tree
B- The tree for being too fruity and generous
C- The loon who chucks a cookie at you
D- You for dismissing a brilliant idea
E- Freedom of speech

This story is inspired by a few thoughts I had over the whole hullabaloo that surrounds the so-called movie titled the Innocence of Muslims.

© All images are copyrighted by their respective authors.