Double Stripe Combo & Safety Tips For Walking While Being A Woman

Monday, April 19, 2021

The time I wore a double stripe combo and share about how I keep safe while walking in the park while being a human woman.

Hiya folks, this post will be long and good!

It's a lovely cool evening here and l am going to share another outfit post that's centered upon the old striped pencil skirt which I've worn a ton of times previously. It's the last one from this skirty look archive, l promise. I mean if l ever caught myself slipping into the skirt again, I'd have to go even bolder on top so as not to bore this space to death. Anyway: Black and white stripes sure are versatile and on this skirt, they're such a neutral, I can't help but to want to pair it with just about anything!

Onto a topic that is pretty important now.

It's for women who walk as a form of getting to one point to another for practicality and/or as a fun way of getting fresh air and staying fit. I'm still reeling over the case of Sarah Everard and others like her whose lives were cut short while they were out minding their own business walking from one point to get back home. This post is a way for me to share what I personally do while out walking here in a small town in Malaysia where it's never a good idea to walk at night alone as a woman, ever at all.

So, let's allow my rambling to begin.

What I do to stay safe during my day walking session as a woman:

I wear no ear piece to distract myself from the present moment. This is important because our senses can pick up on things our minds can miss. So, no music, podcasts when I walk outside in nature. I want to know what's going on around me and look far beyond my vicinity to increase my chance of changing routes when l perceive unsafe situations or people in the distance.

Eyeballs straight up and out gals. I make sure to look people in the eye or in their general direction instead of looking down on the ground even though there might be interesting looking ants, grass patterns, fallen blooms and things. Of course l am able to watch the ground but it has to be balanced with looking up and all around. In general, this is to anchor my body in the present moment and practice situational awareness. It really pays to cultivate intense awareness as this has helped me seamlessly move away from a path that would have taken me to the direction of questionable people.

If and when l am encountering a questionable person while walking in the park who tries to get my attention. I have a rule to simply disengage by choosing to not communicate. For example, a strange dude chilling by himself suddenly called out to ask me for the time. He didn't call out once but a few times in a way that I didn't appreciate. I swiftly jogged by and did not return to that area. He wouldn't perish if he didn't know what the time was and there were other men there who would tell him the time if he would kindly direct his attention to them.

I use the phone as a repellent. Record things and point it in the direction of a questionable person that's being weird and every single time, they become self conscious and start being less weird... If they are utterly unwell, well, it's better to just leave the area immediately.

Another straight fellow walked in my direction asking for attention by raising his voice. I already spotted him from afar and no, I did not know this person. When I ignored him while walking in front of a very busy fast food joint, he made a point to raise his voice again. It was starting to rain and l had my umbrella. I hid my head under my umbrella and jogged off confidently in the opposite direction to join other joggers. This might seem like nothing to anyone else that's not female but it really shaken me up that I had to shorten my walking session for that day. I avoided parking in the area for a few weeks. That area is family-friendly. I guess, just not that solo-woman-friendly.

Parking your vehicle. I do not park at the same place twice because of the importance of routine disruption. The town park area is huge and there are different places to park. I make sure to vary the location of where I park the vehicle so as to avoid risks when a questionable person knows a particular routine of mine. I also change up my walking paths. It's never the same. I like it.

When l walk in the park, the purpose is to walk and not socialize. I do not stop walking even if someone attractive wants to spark a random convo. Usually though, nobody is that attractive if they decided to start a random prolonged convo in the park. It doesn't stop anyone saying hello, ever. I keep it short. I go to walk, jog and run and that's it. I also people-watch next to nature-watch because well, according to my mom, people are part of nature too. Hahaha! If a guy needs help, I will gladly help by finding another guy to help him out.

Wait for the story at the end about the topic of a strange man asking for 'help' in the park.

I avoid going to the hidden parts of the park.

These are areas that have a different terrain or bushes and trees that keep them isolated from the rest of the park. I want to be seen by the general public while walking alone. As much as l love going to quiet spots for you know, serenity and what not, the thought of a questionable person also lurking in the same space with concerning intentions has nip this desire of mine in the bud. My advice for the ladies would be to stay in areas that have high traffic of people.

Practice listening to the sounds around myself when no one is nearby and comparing it to how it feels when someone is passing by either via walking, jogging, sprinting or lurking. I am a sensitive person with my own unique sensory processing ways so this habit helps in keeping me feeling safe as l naturally seek quite a physical distance from random fellow joggers. This allows for an assessment at a distance. It might seem an intense thing to do but it's been second nature to me, so far.

Pay attention to smells. I have smelled someone from afar and changed direction! It's just one of those things that I heed without question. I wear a face that is like the one you can see down below to avoid the friendly-looking gal vibe while walking because I'd rather be looking like I'd-demolish-you with my invisible yet potent energy. It does jack, physically. I just make sure I keep a strong and alert posture while holding something secretly lethal in one of my hands and swinging it around. Sometimes. it's just a hair claw.

Remember there is a difference between being paranoid and being alert. The latter needs for a calm and stable mental and emotional starting point or foundation so there can be clarity. I've had quite a lot of stories from my sister and female friends throughout the years of my life to know that even though nature is so spectacular, it can be spectacularly criminal in ways that we must be cautious as the gender that is preyed upon.

I think that's all for now. I will come back to update more on safety walking tips while out and about alone as females. Whether you consider yourself attractive or not, it doesn't matter because unsavory things do not discriminate.

Oh wait, so, here's the story as promised of what had just happened before I even stepped out to take my walk yesterday's evening.

This still had me reeling but here it goes. It just happened while I was still drafting this post.

Do not leave your car when a person acting odd is around your immediate vicinity. Just don't do it. I'm going to use a real life example of an incident that just took place.

A senior looking fellow on a motorbike made a stop next to where I was parked. Because I had turned off the engine, l could hear him muttering to himself like he might be on the phone or simply talking in a whiny way to no one in particular. I assessed that it was odd. I felt in my body it was. Though I didn't understand the language he was speaking, at that time, still with his helmet on, I thought I'd just wait for him to get away from the area before deciding to step out.

Unfortunately, instead of leaving the area, the stranger on the motorbike decided to get my attention. The car windows aren't tinted so he could see me. He walked around the car from the passenger's side to my side which was the driver's side. Watching him at this point pissed me off. I felt harrassed because there I was in the car minding my business and a strange man decided to make an appeal and gestured for me to open the car door or unwind the window to give him attention. I put my hand up and waved him off sternly while pretending to be on a call. I could hear him talking to himself and then raising his voice in a way that expressed he was mad that I, the lone female in the car by herself, couldn't at least be considerate to him, the random fool I've never seen before in my entire life. If "help" was what he wanted, mind you, there were people around walking by him and an adult man jogger was moving right behind him as he was huffing and puffing, getting his arse back on his motorbike. He DID NOT TRY to ask anyone else that was there for help. He sped off after I started the car. I counted myself lucky that I was in a fairly busy area but I was so put off by the whole thing, I left the place to head off somewhere with lots of other people.

Did I immediately relax? Nope. I was like a cat with my fur standing on end. It took a while. It's life. I dealt with it. Then, I remember Sarah Everard. I get mad, again.

Tell me if I was paranoid or just exercising caution and my right to be left alone. What do you do when you find yourself walking alone? How do you keep safe during your walk? Let's learn from one another.

That being said, I hope you, dear reader, have consumed your breakfast, brunch, lunch, tea, dinner, supper or the midnight snack. For the ones fasting, I wish you a very blessed Ramadhan!

Take good care and till we meet again, soon, in the next post!

**Marble style green clay statement earrings by Shape & Hue.

shanaz@RS | 3:38 AM | Labels: